Testimony

Like many Christian churches, mine places a great emphasis on actively sharing a personal witness of our faith. In our church we call it sharing a testimony, other Christians often call it witnessing or use other terminology, but the idea is the same and stems from 1 Peter 3:15, “be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you.” Our church encourages members to do this both formally and informally, and we dedicate the first Sunday meeting of every month for members to stand at the pulpit and freely share testimonies. While a testimony can take many forms, it generally is an opportunity for someone to stand in front of others and testify of truth. In our particular church culture, it often takes the form of someone saying some combination of, “I know God lives, I know Jesus is the Christ, I know Joseph Smith was a true prophet, I know…..etc.” Such a testimony is often accompanied by sharing personal experiences that helped an individual gain that witness of individual truths.

For a long, long time, this was one of the most difficult aspects of my faith. In my spiritual immaturity, it felt to me like the level of my faithfulness was dependent on how much emphasis I could put on the words, “I know…” People often talked of someone having a “strong testimony” as if those who could pronounce the words, “I know” with greatest conviction were furthest down the path of righteousness. I struggled with this a great deal. Rather than having my own faith strengthened as I heard others proclaim all that they knew to be true, I often sat quietly thinking that I wasn’t so sure that I “knew.” I could confidently stand up and say, “I believe God lives,” or “I have faith in Jesus Christ,” or even, “I have a conviction to live my life according to these truths,” but somehow I felt that I must have some defect in my faith because the words, “I know” didn’t seem to fit well into my personal testimony. Doctrine & Covenants 46:13-14 states, “To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God...To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.” I always felt like I was one of those who was given the ability to believe, but hoped that someday I’d have the gift to know. Alma 32 also teaches, “faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true,” and, “if a man knoweth a thing he hath no cause to believe, for he knoweth it.” It seemed to me that there was a spectrum including belief, hope, faith, and knowledge; and I hadn’t quite made it to the knowledge place yet.

It wasn’t until many years later that the words “I know” no longer caused me concern, partly because I realized from the scriptures quoted above that faith rather than knowledge is essential, and partly because I came to realize that I had been fretting over the wrong verb. I know…. wasn’t nearly so important as God lives, Jesus Christ is our Savior, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is His restored church on the earth. I can try to add whatever verbs I want before those simple sentences (I know…, I believe…, I have faith that…), but what people really need to hear and what I really need to say is just the simple truth. No one told me they KNOW gravity exists; they just told me it did. Likewise I don’t need to try to convince anyone whether I know or believe or feel strongly about God, they just need to hear me say the true fact that He lives and observe from my actions that I live my life based on that truth.

I had this lesson profoundly reinforced just a few days ago as I talked to my 3-year-old before bed. He was having concerns about being scared at nighttime and I told him if he woke up scared he could say a prayer to help him feel better. We’ve been trying to teach him to pray, and he’s learning to do so independently but still doesn’t quite understand the concept. He said if he prayed in his room no one would hear him to help, and I replied that Heavenly Father can always hear our prayers. I realized that in all my efforts to teach him to pray I had left out that one extremely important detail. He still wasn’t quite convinced, but I saw the slight change in him as he considered that fact. It was as if he started to realize that the fact that Heavenly Father could always hear us pray really did change things. I had just shared a testimony in the most important way. I told my child that Heavenly Father hears our prayers. He didn’t care if I said, with great conviction and seriousness, “I KNOW that Heavenly Father hears our prayers.” I realized he just needed to be told information that was true, that God hears prayers. So many people, adults and children alike, just need to hear what’s true. They will assess by our actions rather than our language if we really believe it, and they will make their own determination of its truthfulness regardless of how emphatically we try to convince them. When people hear such truths proclaimed enough, they will face the choice to believe them or not. Our job is not to convince people, it’s to tell people. God hears prayers, and it doesn’t matter if I know it or believe it or hope it, it’s just true – and that is my testimony.