If you know me personally or have read either my about the author page or political blog, you’ll know that independent thought is extremely important to me. I firmly believe we should all come to our own conclusions about what is right and true – and that we ought to live and act according to those convictions. I understand we are all biased and influenced by those around us, but believe it’s extremely important not to let our beliefs, ideas, and thoughts be based solely on what others have told us. That very mentality is what drove me to become a committed member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’d like to share that process as the beginning of my newest writing effort – sharing my spiritual perspective on the world.
As a young person, I was generally uninterested in religion. That disinterest wasn’t because I felt like there was no God, but because it seemed as though most religions had no particular foundation for speaking authoritatively on the subject. (I don’t mean to criticize any organized religion, but just intend to express the feelings I had as one not acquainted with them.) From my perspective at the time, I felt like there either must be one particular way of doing things that was correct, or more than one. I think I was heavily influenced by my perception of Christian doctrine that either one proclaimed faith in Christ and was baptized, or was sentenced to eternal punishment. Since I thought very highly of my parents and they had not chosen that particular path, I just couldn’t accept the belief that God (whatever that meant) would condemn them. Thus, I believed that there must be more than one way to live a good life and I didn’t need any particular person, institution, or religion dictating to me the path I should follow. I attempted to read some of the Bible, but found it impossible to understand God with that alone, and had a general dislike for religions stating or implying that their way of thinking was correct while others’ weren’t. In retrospect, I realize that many religions or sects don’t proclaim to be the only correct path, but merely try to help an individual develop their own relationship with God. I now have a deep respect for every religion that puts forth effort not to prove others wrong, but to help someone develop their own spiritual relationship with God. However, at the time I felt as those Christians made it clear that my father was doomed to hell for his unbelief, and I had no interest in that line of thinking. If God had such a plan, I wasn’t interested in Him either.
Then, obviously, I had a change of heart. I can tell the story by the events and feelings I had at the time, or by the things I know happened in retrospect – I’ll try to do a little of both. The softening of my distaste for religion came when my family moved to Idaho and many of our friends and acquaintances were Mormon. I don’t know that I analyzed how their faith did or didn’t fit my stereotype of religion, but generally developed the feeling that “the church” was a good thing. It was clear to me, while not on an intellectual level, that this church was a good influence. I continued my association with church members and activities for about 8 years, mostly with a social but not religious interest. I then, quite quickly, began to change my desires. I realized that there was something about the church I wanted in my life, but didn’t know exactly what it was. I wish I could tell you I was motivated purely by my desire to develop a relationship with God, but that just wouldn’t be true. I wanted to have whatever it was that the people in the church had, even though I didn’t know what that was. And so I began attending church, accepting commitments, and was baptized and became a member in a relatively short span.
In retrospect I have no doubt that I was influenced by the power of the Holy Ghost – the Spirit. I’ve since been fond of saying, “the Spirit makes me stupid” not because it influences me to make bad choices, but because in its presence I am convinced to act not based on reason and intellect alone, but on what I believe to be right – on faith, without having the intellectual backing I normally rely on. This, to me, is the essence of faith, acting on something I believe to be right but can’t intellectually support. It’s why, I believe, Hebrews 10:31 states, “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” Sometimes faith requires us to act without knowing why, but having an assurance that what we are doing is right. That can be a fearful thing for someone who demands of himself a rational and independent explanation for his thought, beliefs, and actions. Some may feel like ignoring our intellect and reason is dangerous or unwise, making us susceptible to being deceived through emotion. However, there’s something within each of us, apart from reason, intellect, and emotion, that gives us a sense of what’s right. We can choose to follow only our intellect and reason, knowing no human’s can be without fault, or we can choose to follow that sense of truth – what members of my faith call the Light of Christ. Following our reason requires confidence that our own shortcomings won’t lead us astray, while following the Light of Christ requires humility, faith, and hope that the Source of that Light is beyond our own shortcomings. Confidence in my own reason, rather than humility and hope, seems to me to be the unwise and dangerous choice. And so I became Mormon, simply because I believed it was right…but it has taken more than that to keep me a Mormon.
The next ten years of my life were full of faith building associations and experiences, as well as doubts, questions, and trials. I don’t have the time, inclination, or memory to share them individually, but can summarize by saying that several times the “Spirit makes me stupid” feeling waned and I was forced to develop a more solid foundation of faith. Several times my intellect and independence of thought led me to question and doubt, and each time that I was reassured by faith, which Hebrews 11:1 calls, “the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Several years later, I can now say that while questions always exist, doubt has finally become scarce. While not completely free from it, doubt has been replaced by knowledge, doctrine, and faith. Though this process, these are the truths I’ve learned:
We are all literal children of God – our Father in Heaven, and lived in His presence before our mortal birth in this world. God is perfect and has a perfect love for us. He desires for us to learn, grow, and become more like Him – because that is the way for us to find lasting happiness, His ultimate goal. To allow for our progress and learning, He created this world for us to dwell temporarily away from His direct presence. It was necessary for us to have the freedom to choose and be accountable for our actions, a principle called agency. This process was put into effect by the Fall, in which this world became one where good and evil existed side by side, giving us the opportunity to choose and learn from our decisions. Knowing we would each make mistakes, and thus fall short of the perfect standard required to return to God’s presence, He put forth a plan for our redemption. The central part in this plan was the Atonement of Jesus Christ, by which He willingly paid the price for our sins and transgressions, fulfilling the demands of justice while ensuring mercy. Through that Atonement, we are all saved from death, and will be resurrected – our body and spirit reunited in immortal form. If we choose to accept Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf, we can be forgiven of our sins and reunited with our Father in Heaven, living together with our family in eternal happiness. To accept Christ’s Atonement, we are required to exercise faith, repent, be baptized, receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and endure in our commitment to Him. God has endless patience, and allows for our acceptance of His plan even after our death (the knowledge of this truth alone has sustained my faith in many trials). To show the importance of commitment through baptism while maintaining open arms even after our moral life, God has commanded all to be baptized, but allows members of His church to perform it vicariously on behalf of those who have died – giving everyone a chance to accept Christ even in death.
While our separation from God is necessary for our progress, He has prepared means by which we can know Him and His plan for our happiness. The primary means of understanding these things is through prophets, men chosen to teach these truths through direct communication from Heaven. Prophets have been called throughout man’s existence in this world and have often written their teachings and the words God commanded them to speak – found today in scripture. Men are free to accept or reject these truths, leading to many periods in history when prophets have not been on the earth due to our rejection of them. Such a time without prophets existed for nearly 2,000 years after Christ’s death and resurrection, but then abruptly ended in 1820. In that year, Joseph Smith was selected as a prophet in our modern era, and a succession of prophets has followed from him to the present day. You can read extensively about his experience at Mormon.org. Joseph Smith was chosen to restore the knowledge of God’s plan and Christ’s church to the earth. As a testimony of Joseph’s calling from God, he, though inspiration, found and translated the Book of Mormon, a collection of records written by prophets of God that were called in ancient America. Like all prophets, God does not intend us to believe Joseph Smith’s testimony by his words and acts alone. We have the opportunity and, I believe, the obligation to directly ask God, through prayer, whether or not Joseph Smith was a true prophet. Furthermore, God has promised that all who read the Book of Mormon with sincere intent may ask God and receive a witness, through the Holy Ghost, of its truthfulness. Such a witness confirms that Joseph Smith was a true prophet and has restored Christ’s true church to the earth. In my time as a missionary and in other effects to share these truths, I have never and will never ask anyone to believe my words or Joseph Smith’s words without personally verifying their validity. God will personally make it known to all who desire to know that these things are true, and that’s why I’m a Mormon.
